Drinking and driving don't mix
by little-bit-dorky
Summary: Title not much to do with anything, just a Duckman reference for all you Pretty in Pink fans. Basically, Hayley gets drunk, realisations result.


**Summary: The title doesn't really have much to do with anything, just a Duckman reference to all you Pretty in Pink fans out there. Basically Hayley is drunk and realisations result.**

**Disclaimer: Duh, I don't own The Troop! **

Haley Steele was drunk. Yes, the girl who was permanently on her high horse about morals had forgone them for the sake of tequila slammers and beer. Ok, so maybe it was the start of the summer holidays, and maybe it was her close friend's birthday party, and maybe she had single-handedly caught a very dangerous monster that morning, but still. It was embarrassing. And what was worse was that she was aware of what she was doing, but she just couldn't seem to stop herself. It was like her filters had been taking down and the floodgates of inappropriate acts had opened, the embarrassment rushing through in full force.

Jake Collins was sober. Surprisingly the most poorly behaved Troop member was also the most sober one at the party. He sat in the corner with a slightly tipsy Felix, who was excitedly talking about some new invention, gesturing emphatically as he ensured Jake that it would revolutionise the world as they knew it. Jake just nodded and made interested noises every now and then. That was enough to keep his friend talking, hell anything was enough to keep his friend talking. He wouldn't have been listening even if he wanted to, however, as he was too busy focussing on their third Troop member. He watched as she danced her way over to the drinks table and slam back another shot. Not good.

Hayley drunkenly weaved her way through the crowd. She'd spotted Jake. Jake would look after her, he always did. Good old dependable Jake, a thought she never believed would ever make an appearance in her mind. She twirled her way to him and Felix and collapsed on his lap. "Jakey!" she giggled into his shirt. She could feel his arms move around her to support her toppling frame. "Hayley" he muttered in a gruff, unimpressed voice. He looked over to Felix and grumbled something about taking her home, ensuring that the kid had a ride and making him promise not to drink too much more than he already had, stating that one hung-over Troop member would be enough for the next day, thank you very much. And then the world sort of tipped as she was hoisted over his shoulder.

Jake carried the drunken girl fireman style over his shoulder. He deposited her into the front seat of his battered old pickup, ignoring her gabbling about how monsters should get the power to make people drunk, because that would be the best power ever because no one would ever be opposed to it. She collapsed against the seat and he sighed, unhappy in the knowledge that he could never take her to her parent's house in this inebriated state. He called the admittedly scary Mrs Steele and gave her a half assed explanation about an early mime club meeting resulting in the need for added practice before the next day, to perfect their man in a box routine. He could practically see her eyebrow raising as she agreed, tight-lipped, that maybe Hayley should spend the night at his place. Oddly, she trusted Jake, which was more than he could say for her daughter, and had done so ever since he had rushed her to hospital after she broke her arm in a cheerleading pyramid related incident, one of the only non-Troop related accidents Hayley had ever been in, trusted him enough to believe in his good intentions and to allow her seventeen year old daughter to be left in the care of a hormonal teenager such as himself.

"You know Haylz, I understand that you are all about variety and such, it being the spice of life and all, but next time let's not mix our drinks okay? It's not a good plan..."

"M'kay Jakey. Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, cute old Jakey...Dude, I friggen' love you Jakey. I really, really do!"

Jake's car swerved. He yanked on the wheel, narrowly avoiding jumping the curb. His heart broke, just a little. He had long since given up hope that she would ever think that he was good enough for her, would ever think of him as anything more than an annoying friend that she'd made due to circumstance rather than want. He'd watch her date the overachieving, handsome, do-gooders, the complete packages who played football and maintained a perfect GPA _and_ still had time to volunteer at the animal shelter and he accepted, with jealousy churning in his stomach, that those would always be the type of people that she would be interested in, and, deep down, thinking that she probably deserved better than what he had to offer anyway. "Sure you do Haylz, what's not to love, right?"

But she had already dropped off, curling against the seat with her forehead resting against the cool glass of the window. Jake pulled the car into the driveway. The spotlights shone overly bright in his eyes. Hayley couldn't have picked a better day to be smashed, Jake reasoned, because his parents were away for the weekend and Phoebe was sleeping over at one of her little dancer friends houses and he had the place all to himself. He carried Hayley bridal style up the stairs, kicking the door shut behind him and quietly depositing her onto his sister's bed. He carefully removed her heels and placed a quilt over her sleeping form. As an afterthought he grabbed his beaver, most manly of all the woodland creatures, and tucked it into the bed next to her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, leaving the room with a sigh.

Hayley woke with a start. Where was she? Where were all her pillows? What was this uncomfortable thing that she was lying on top of and why in god's name was her brain exploding out of her eyeballs? She groaned and groggily sat up, trying to suppress the waves of nausea that were rolling up her throat. She looked around blearily, vaguely recognising the pink wallpaper as familiar. On the desk next to the bed that she had mysteriously been sleeping in she noticed a homemade picture frame, with glitter and old-looking, gold painted macaroni hearts. In the frame was a picture of a much younger Jake Collins and his sister, grinning out into the world, youthful innocence written all over their faces.

Realisation.

Jake's house, Phoebe's room, and the thing that she was lying on was that ridiculous so-called beaver of Jake's that she had once sewed bunny ears onto. Oh tequila.

She could vaguely recall the night before. She had this feeling, the feeling that something important had happened, something vital, but she couldn't for the life of her remember what it was. She got out of bed and stuck her head into Jake's frightfully messy room. Empty. She slowly made her way down the stairs, shuffling her feet as she went. In the kitchen she found an already dressed Jake staring contemplatively out of the large kitchen windows and sipping a mug of steaming coffee.

"Hey dude," she murmured, "Thanks for, you know, last night. My parent's would've killed me if I drove home drunk. What happened? The last thing I remember is you picking me up..."

He turned and looked at her, an odd look in his eyes. His hair was still wet from the shower and she loved the way that it was beginning to curl. "Yeah, no problem. What're friends for, right? I told your mom we had mime practice this morning, so if she asks your man in a box routine is going very well." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair distractedly, "Nothing happened. I took you here, put you to bed. End of story. Nothing happened." He hurriedly changed the subject, motioning to the kitchen counter on which an aspirin and a glass of water were already laid out for her. "You must have some headache. That'll help. I've gotta go, Phoebe needs to be fetched and I promised her that on our way back I'd take her to buy some art supplies for this summer project she's got. Sorry to just leave you. Felix brought back your car. It's in the drive. Turns out he wasn't too tipsy to function. "He said all of this in a gruff tone, like there was something else he was saying behind all of the other, meaningless words, words more important than cars and art supplies and a drunken Felix, but Hayley couldn't pick up on what it was. He downed the last of his coffee and gave her a sort of half smile and a wave as he headed out the door.

As the sounds of his car straining into life were brought to her ears, realisation hit her like a speeding bus, knocked her for six, as the old phrase went. Suddenly she remembered what was so important. Jake. She ran out of the house, still in her gross clothes from last night, that were sticky with tequila residue, hair still standing on end, ran, hurtled out of the house, across the lawn, into the street where Jake was busy reversing, throwing her hands out in front of her to stop him from pulling away. Jake slammed on the brakes and angrily threw open the car door.

"What the hell, dude?"

Hayley grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled his face towards hers.

"Dude, I friggen love you!"

**There you go, love it, hate it, please don't be too mean. I am well aware that it sucks, but I am bored and procrastinating and this is what I came up with. =)**


End file.
